Arguing with our kids

Why do we as parents spend so much time arguing with our children? Here is a typical scenario of an argument:

Child: "I wanna cookie"
Mom: "Sorry but you need to eat dinner first"
Child: "I WANNA COOKIE"
Mom: "What did mom say, look at me, no cookies until afer dinner"
Child: "Nooooooo! Cookie!"(now child is hysterical and crying)
Mom: "Do you need to go to your room for a time out?"
Child: (screaming and tantrumming)

Now this mother may be wondering "What did I do wrong?" She did one thing right: not giving in. Had she given in, the child's whining and bad behavior would likely increase in the future. But the mom could have done something different: not argued with her child, it might look like this:

Child: "I wanna cookie"
Mom: "Sorry but you need to eat dinner first"
Child: "I WANNA COOKIE"

Silence: mom does not respond, she has already given her answer, so why argue about it? If this is the first time the mom has ignored her child, the child will likely get very upset (If you try this be prepared, behaviors often get worse before they get better). Once the child understands mom is not going to answer me, no matter how hard I scream, she will realize you mean what you say, and stop whining/complaining because it doesn't do any good.

Homework: Try it! Tell me how it works for you. Just remember: hang in there, be strong and silent, no matter how upset they become, ignore the behavior if they want attention and are acting badly. Quesions? Comments?